My thoughts while at the airport....

I love flying! I traveled yesterday and went ahead and thought I'd write a post about what goes through my head when I'm traveling. So, here are my thoughts while I’m at the airport...I'm sure there are a few you can relate to.

• This backpack is feeling heavier and heavier the more I walk. I don’t think Frodo’s pack felt this heavy.

• Kudos to that lady for traveling in 5-inch heels. She should definitely get some sort of prize.

• You’re charging me how much for a bottled water? Is the water at least from the fountain of youth? Do you guys have payment plans for paying that water bottle off? Well then, can I get a student discount? 

• Why is my connecting flight on the complete opposite side of the airport? Maybe if I look like I’m struggling one of those little cars will come pick me up.

• Let me quadruple check I have my boarding pass. Ok good, I have it. Hm. Let me just check once more.

• Why is this plane freezing? Well, fingers, it’s been nice having you. But, I’m afraid I might lose you to frostbite. 

• Why aren’t there windows in the plane bathrooms? It’s not like anyone is going to peek in from outside.

• I think the flight attendant gave me more ice in this shot-glass-of-a-cup than actual water. 

• Why is the toilet in the plane bathroom so loud? It’s going to suck you down too. 

• Go to the bathroom in the plane without touching anything. Challenge accepted. 

• Oh you want me to check the safety procedures in the pocket on the seat in front of me? I'm afraid if I put my hand in that nasty pocket I will procure the bubonic plague.

• Skymall has the weirdest things ever.  But on the bright side, now I know where I can buy a spatula with a built-in light, an eye and temple massager, or a bacon pillow.

• I think the guy behind me is going to run over me with his Louis Vuitton carry-on if I don’t take off my shoes, belt, and jacket off, lift my heavy rolling carry-on onto the conveyor belt, and take my laptop out of its sleeve fast enough. Patience Mr. Kors. Don't rush me through security!

• Why do I feel guilty while walking through the metal detector? Take a deep breath woman! You didn’t do anything. 

• Ok, I’m through the detector. Now I’ve got to grab all my stuff off the conveyor belt and head to the nearest bench before Mr. Independent behind me challenges me to a tap-dance battle or sues me. I don’t know which would be worse.

• Can I sneak on that flight to New Zealand?…..Please?

• There are definitely some interesting characters at this airport.

• How does that girl look perfect even though she just got off a plane? My makeup looks raccoon-like, my hair is pretty much one giant tumbleweed, I can’t feel my legs, and I can’t hear anything out of my right ear because it’s still getting used to the change in air pressure. 

• Is that baby on my plane? 

• Why does everyone feel the need to battle to the death to board the plane? Chill, you guys! This isn’t the Hunger Games. 

• Two kids plus one iPad equals chaos. 

• So I can’t go through security with a water bottle but I can buy a bottle of perfume outside my gate? Hm. 

• Why is it the minute the plane touches down everyone jumps out of their seats and try to climb over each other to get out first? Peace around the world people!

• Well, of course my luggage comes out last. Mini heart attack. 

~Amanda